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Tips for asking for consent

Consent is an ongoing conversation and process of check verbally and non-verbally. Sometimes it can be hard to find the words, so we have some tips for you.

At the start

  • Can I kiss you?
  • How far do you want to go?
  • What would turn you on?
  • Do you want to have <insert type of sex here> with me?
  • How do you feel about ……?
  • How would you like it?
  • Can I touch you here?
  • Can I go down on you?
  • Do you want to try something new? I was thinking we could try?

Keeping the conversation going

  • How does that feel?
  • Should I slow down?
  • Is this what you meant?
  • Should I be gentler?
  • Do you want to keep going?
  • Do you want to try something else?
  • Do you like this?
  • Do you want me to stop?
  • Are you comfortable? Is this position ok?

Checking in

  • Are you alright?
  • Show me what you like?
  • Is that ok?
  • Does this feel good?
  • How do you want me?
  • Is how you like it?
  • Should I stop?
  • What do you like?

Are you a young person who would like to talk to our team more about consent? Sometimes you just need to talk it over with someone. There are several places you can go for a confidential chat:

Just ask bSHaW: Request a call back from a sexual health professional to talk about consent, another sexual health topic or get postal condoms. We speak to those between the age of 13 and 25.
https://sexualhealthbucks.nhs.uk/just-ask-bshaw/

The Mix: Essential support for under 25s
https://www.themix.org.uk
Call 0808 808 4994

The LGBT Foundation
https://lgbt.foundation
Call 0345 3 30 30 30

Rape or sexual Assault Help and Support

If you have been affected by rape or sexual assault please click here for further support and information

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Need to speak to someone?

If you need further advice, or if this page hasn’t answered your questions then get in contact with your local bSHaW Sexual Health Clinic for a friendly chat.

Call 0300 303 2880 to book an appointment or use our service finder to locate your nearest clinic.

Service Finder